Clooney engagement is a breach of women's rights

by Nicky80 Sat 17 May 2014, 17:39

This is funny Razz

Clooney engagement is a breach of women's rights

Dear Amal Alamuddin,

Congratulations on your recent engagement to the world's most eligible bachelor, Mr George Clooney. This must be a busy time for you, balancing your international law practice with preparations for a big wedding.

However, as much as we are loathe to cast a shadow on this happy event, we are writing to advise that you are in grave danger of committing a human-rights violation of a hitherto unknown scale. This may come as a surprise to you, given your own impressive body of work in this field, including in the International Court of Justice and the European Court of Human Rights.

But clearly, between assisting in the prosecution of war criminal Slobodan Milosevic and serving as special counsel to the UN's Kofi Annan, you missed the brief explaining that the women of the world are entitled to a few basic rights.

These rights include, but are not limited to, the following: the right to equal pay for equal work; the right to contraception and reproductive choice; the right to eat Magnums in public without some twit reminding us "a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"; and the right to fantasise about George Clooney falling madly in love with us. In the USA, similar principles were expressed in the Declaration of Independence as the right to "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Clooney-ness".

As such, we write now to instruct that you immediately cease and desist any marital negotiations with Mr Clooney.

Should you comply with this request, we are happy to offer the following items as compensation: one Ryan Gosling; two Bradley Coopers (warning: these do make a mess if left alone unattended); the entire French rugby team (more use off-field than on, if you get my meaning). You may also keep the seven-carat diamond engagement ring, provided you agree that it never again be referred to as being "ethically mined".

We look forward to your compliance, and note that your client list includes Mr Julian Assange. He's single, should you need a rebound.

Christine Jackman

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

by Butterfly Sat 17 May 2014, 17:50

Hahahahahaha....This is so funny! Thanks Nicky for finding it! Hug1

Clooney engagement is a breach of women's rights

Clooney engagement is a breach of women's rights

Re: Clooney engagement is a breach of women's rights